I realized it today.
I'm an overbearing mother.
First I stumbled upon this article.
Then this was brought to my attention-twice.
(Yes, Lord, you are coming through loud and clear!)
The thing is,
although I felt very loved and cared for as a child,
growing up I pretty much had a constant feeling of nervousness and worry.
I still do today.
I'm always expecting something bad to happen.
Obviously it can be traced back to my parents' divorce.
There was no way for me to prepare for it. My childhood was going along just fine and carefree and then one day, out of nowhere, my dad was gone. There was no fighting, no threatening of divorce, nothing, just one day here, and then one day gone (in my 7 year old eyes).
I never want my children to feel like that,
or have to be on anti-depressants.
Anyway, I guess it just came naturally to me when I had babies, to do everything in my power so that they would never have to feel anxious about anything.
My thinking is that if I micromanage everything in their lives to produce the best outcome, they won't have a care in the world and they can just relax and be kids.
I never really thought about what will happen when they become adults.
They are not going to know how to make their own decisions...
or know how to deal with unfavorable situations, for that matter.
I have a stomachache.
(not on the stomachache, but on the overcoming of my overbearingness)
I'll be praying on this for awhile...