all in a day

Porter: Mommy, I like you. I like your hair and your nose.

Mommy: (gets mad at Porter for not listening)
Porter: I'm going to WalMart and never coming back!

Porter: Mommy, Henry is going to put me in the toilet, shut the lid, flush it, and I can never get out.

Mommy: (Tells Daddy that Linda's husband came to help at school today)
Daddy: What does he do?
Mommy: I think he's retired.
Porter: Yeah, he's retarded.