more unsolicited advice to celebrities

Dear Miley, 
I...I...I'm at a loss for words.  The teddy bears...the mouse leotard...the foam finger...I mean, who designed/organized/choreographed this whole debacle?  I hope someone burned that foam finger when you were done with it.  You should apologize to Robin Thicke's wife.  And to the Disney channel for being a total embarrassment. 

Dear Kimye, 
You didn't really choose the perfect photo to introduce North West to the world.  She kind of looked like a boy.  You should put a bow on her head. 

Dear all actors in Teen Beach Movie, 
Thank you for making my life more special.  Your songs and dancing make me so happy.
My kids love you!